Anyway, although I am not so sure about that, I am 100% sure that if there were such a state to be got to, Maharaji's Knowledge does not lead to it.

In other words, 'realising Knowledge' is both an inherent impossibility - such a thing just doesn't exist - and is a practical impossibility, meaning that even if it were a possibility you could not get to it.

This carrot of 'realising Knowledge' is one of the main hooks that kept us (or at least kept me) chained to his abusive behavior, and living what in my heart of heart I knew to be a lie.

The thought: What if it were true after all? is certainly what kept me going for years. 'Realising Knolwedge' is such a golden carrot, the state of all states, the ultimate goal of human life - nay, thousands of human lives - that although your current life in the ashram, or in the premie scene, is miserable, it has to be endured for this ultimate goal. Even if there is only one chance in a million that Maharaji is true, it is worth gambling on that chance since if he were true, the rewards would be everything.

That is why you have to lengthen the odds so that you are 100% sure it is all a con before you can truly leave the cult, since if you allow any % chance that it is true after all, the logical thing would then be to stay in and surrender to Maharaji, since the reward of realising Knowledge is everything.

I certainly did give it a 'fair crack of the whip'. I took the meditation seriously, and practised Knowledge sincerely for 30 years. I meditated practically every day, and many days I did considerably more than one hour.

Of course I had many beautiful experiences, even to thinking occasionally: This is it, I have realised the Knowledge!! Once I was telling Maharaji about my latest experience, and he just said 'go further'. For a few seconds I was disappointed, then I was amazed by his profound wisdom and his understanding of the profound depths of the Knowledge. Now of course I see that that is all he could ever say, 'go further', since the basis of the whole cult is that the holy grail is almost within your reach, but not quite - one more effort, one more event, one more surrender. I feel such a fool not seeing this years before, but at least I did see it at last.