But the fact is that it did happen, and since the reality is that you cannot have your time over again, the real question is: What now?

In fact, I don't feel it was at all wasted. I learnt a lot from Maharaji, both positively in the sense of things he taught, and negatively in the sense of things to avoid in the future (like people who tell me they can show me God etc).

I am now practising a style of Buddhist insight meditation, and I bring to my practice a whole wealth of personal experience - you cannot sit down for a minimum of one hour a day every day (well, most days) for 30 years doing a focused meditation like Knowledge and not realise something!

An old friend once likened it to the Euro - the so-called universal European currency. He said you can work for 30 years in one country, and save up your wages and investments in that country's currency, but then you realise you should not be in that country, and you want to move to another one. But all your accumulated wealth is in the first country's currency. Ah ha! But because of the Euro, you can freely transport it to the currency of the second country, and so your 30 year's work in the first country is not wasted!

It is a good analogy - that is exactly how I feel. My 30 years with Maharaji were a mistake, but at least what I learned is transportable and is standing me in good stead with what I am doing now.